Dear Ethan,
Thank you so much for all the body fluids today. I appreciate you not letting me know your diaper was full and you had peepee on your pants while sitting on the couch for 10 minutes. Then I really appreciate you going into your room, after asking you what you were doing and you told me you were playing in your room (bottomless, I find you use the potty if there isn't anything to "catch" your pee/poop in, today was an exception, I shall continue), and peeing on the floor, then proceeding to run into the kitchen and let me know, with a huge accomplished smile on your face, that you peed on the floor. At last, my day hasn't even started, just finishing pour a bowl of cereal for me to eat and putting the milk in it, when you bring me one of your balloons with brown stuff on it, and my heart catches in my throat for I fear it is poop, but I pray it isn't. So I ask you, Ethan, what is this?!? You tell me: "PooPoo". Oh lord. I say show me. You lead me into the living room, right in front of the tv, and sure enough, you left mommy a nice little present. Ugh. All I can say is thankfully it was a poop with some consistency. Because honestly, you have had some really nasty, soft poops, and this didn't stick to the carpet or anything (gross I know, but I am thankful I didn't have to scrub it up). I fear my little chat with you about how sad and disappointed I was for you pooping on the carpet fell on to deaf ears. So then, lunch time comes and goes, and it's time for nap, and I went to pull off your diaper so you can have a clean one during nap, and you neglected to tell me you pooped in your diaper (usually you LOVE announcing it RIGHT after you do it) and I just about flung all your poop all over your bed. YUCK! You stood very good and listened very well today while I did my best to prevent poop from being put every where. So then, yes, there is a so then, we are outside this afternoon, playing in the sprinkler, and I see you just standing on the welcome mat on our front porch, with a look of concentration. My heart catches, I so fear you are pooping in your pants, and that would not be good because you are SOAKED to the skin, and I didn't put a diaper on you, all you are wearing is shoes, shorts, underwear, and a tank top. I ask you what you're doing, you announce with all the pleasure in the world, that you are peeing. Oh thank goodness. For just a split second. Because then I realize you are peeing on our welcome mat that leads into our front door. You proceed to pee in clean underwear a little while later and you poop at least two more times tonight. My goodness child. I am just up to my elbows in bodily fluids. And I will say, thank you for actually BLOWING your nose in the kleenex tonight, I don't know if someone else has been practicing with you for that, or you have just heard and see us doing it enough, but I have to say it was the first time you blew. Well goodnight my peeing, pooping, booger filled little boy. Thank goodness you didn't throw up today (knock on wood).
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